Every individual has a general attitude and a view of life in which he / she feels confidence and insecurity. Self-reliance is a positive but realistic attitude of the person. While people are more confident in some areas of their lives (academic work, sport, etc.), they may not have much confidence in many other fields (external appearance, social environment and relationships, etc.).
Self-confident person gives my life a message of my own control. This feeling, the message, still means that man can achieve everything, but his expectations are realistic. Confident individuals continue to accept themselves and to think positively, even if some of their expectations do not come true. Self-insecure individuals, their feelings depends on the others and their consent. They are not successful, but expect to fail, and they avoid taking risks with fear. They value less than their own, ignore the constructive words attributed to them, or find it remarkable. However, individuals who are self-confident do not adhere to the consent of others as they believe in their abilities. They tend to accept themselves, so they do not think that they have to do what they do not desire, protect their rights without rape the rights of others.
How does self-confidence occur?
Although there are many reasons that affect the development of self-reliance, parental behaviors, especially in the early years of early childhood, are essential in the development of emotions about the individual. If one or both parents are highly critical and highly anticipated or overprotective and obstructing freedom, children may believe that they are inadequate, inadequate and more valuable. Whereas parents support the entrepreneurial actions of their children, applaud their development, guide them to find the truth when they make mistakes, and if they continue to respect and love them to love them, children can also learn to accept, love and trust themselves as an individual.
The lack of self-confidence does not necessarily mean that it is deprived of the ability. This deficiency is the result of much focus on other individuals, especially parents, the environment of the individual and the absurd expectation of the society. At this point, it is completely wrong to think that the individual’s self-confidence will not change in any way.
Assumptions Affecting Self Confidence Negatively:
To protect against external influences, people develop a number of unrealistic thoughts. Some of them are constructive, while others are destructive. Several ways of thinking that negatively affect self-confidence and their realistic options can be listed as follows:
1) ım I must earn as much as everyone’s love. “
It is an unreachable goal that includes perfection, and leaves the individual’s value entirely to the approval of others, bringing with it the kind of life that is dependent on others. However, developing personal values and criteria is much more positive.
2) ”I must be talented, competent and successful enough in all important areas. 2
This is a perfect, unattainable goal and focuses on measuring our personal value successfully. However, although success can be satisfactory enough, it does not make the individual more valuable. Being important is a quality that every human being has.
3) ve My background is predominantly determined by all my feelings and behaviors today.
It is true that the feeling of trust may be affected more by external influences in the early childhood, but as a person’s age progresses, you can acquire a consciousness and perspective about what these effects are, and you can decide what effects you will allow on the individual’s life. You don’t have to live desperately under the shadow of past events.
The Thinking Styles That Believe Yourself
Below are some ways of thinking given to peers, which undermine human self-confidence and make them vulnerable to negative effects:
Either allyourness: He hopes to make everything complete and perfect, so he either completely abandons it or he constantly feels worse than he should be. However, how true is the idea of kadar doing everything completely right O?
When I can’t do so well, I fail completely: hitting the general. He expects to face a catastrophe in every corner with a non-optimistic perspective. It connects the result and the value of something to a single behavior or sign.
I got a low in science and technology exam, I can never get into medical school: Stick. Marking is a very simple process, creating a sense of guilt, which means judging the individual in a single act or quality.
I always lose, but it’s my fault. Non selective attention to non-positive. Something good isn’t as important as bad guys. A criticism that appears unimportant, a comment made randomly, shadows the whole truth of a negative detail. Compliments are ignored.
I won five sets in one round, but I’ve lost my morale when I lose the last one. Did you like my outfit? He makes me look fater than I am. To accept the accuracy of emotions without testing. A negative emotion can be caught by others, and this is perceived as though it does not reflect the facts.
I find myself beautiful enough, since I feel this way, I’m not beautiful. Düşünmek meli, kel to think with the words. The sentences ending with yansıt meli, ın often refer to the perfectionist characteristic and reflect the expectations of others, rather than their own wishes or needs. Focuses on requirements. Every person who goes to university must have a profession plan. Since I don’t have my plan, I have a problem. Benim
Some Effective Ways to Develop Self Confidence:
In early childhood, the individual has little power to change his / her parent’s attitude and to create his / her environment, but this increases in the following years. The person can turn his / her negative experiences into positive with a conscious choice and enough effort. In the youth phase, the influence of friends on the individual’s thinking about himself becomes much more effective than that of family members or adults. During their university years, most students become more open to friends as they revisit values and form their own identities. In this respect, you can decide that friends who make you feel negative are not suitable for you, you can choose to move away from them and make new positive friendships.
Below are the main ways to increase your confidence in avoiding negative thinking:
1) Try to see your good side. See what you can do, as well as the labor you show, the sweat and the effort you deserve. Starting with what you can do at the very beginning will help you in the process of accepting your inevitable limits.
2) Do your own internal evaluation. Compare your development with these criteria and values, whether you have your own internal values and criteria that you can evaluate yourself. Do not stay focused on the outcome of competition with others or the general expectations of society. Listen to others, of course, but instead of directly accepting their ideas to know your own logic to know. Remind yourself very often that there is no and no truth in any matter. Listen to your own positive inner voice rather than others’ rhetoric.
3) If you have internal conversations, whether or not you do. Develop an inner sound of your own and use it to protect yourself against harmful effects. Stop by yourself as you turn negative ideas and develop more plausible contrasts, options.
4) Get more risks. Know how to see new experiences as a good opportunity to learn something, not as a test to win or lose. Thus, you can develop yourself instead of wearing yourself in challenging experiences.